The only thing that would make them not complete all of your paperwork at the time of sale is not actuallu having an approval from the bank. Dealers "lock" a deal up as quick as possible since there is no "buyers remorse" law. A contract is a contract. They may change the terms of what they originally offered you and in all likelyhood not for the better. They can tell you anything they want to get you to resign new paperwork but you don't have to, ever. For that matter you don't have to sign the documents left that would "finalize" the deal. If you need to get nasty you can contact the bank on your contract and tell them you are not going to pay for the car and have told the dealership that and they won't approve the loan. No matter what you do, do not take delivery of the car, don't get in it again. Don't even go back to the dealership. You can contest any charge to your debit card if it has the Visa or M/C logo. First ask the dealership for a refund since it will be the fastest way to get back your deposit if they agree. They may take their time refunding it, don't wait more than a few days before contesting it with your bank. If you (your daughter since it is her card) did not sign anything saying non-refundable deposit then they should give it back. Dealerships are in the business of selling cars, not letting you out of a perceived contract is a part of the business. If your husband takes one step forward when they ask him to your sunk, especially if he forget's his glasses (he might as well stay home).
Now... These guys have worked for you and they work for straight commission. No sale, no pay. It's thier job...who cares...They do! Your not buying so don't expext them to play nice. NOBODY likes to work for free. That's what you have done when you act like your interested in a car, have them go through the steps, then change your mind. Would you go to work for someone for free? It kind of sucks!